(English) Self-Image: The Tyranny of Unobtainable Standards of Beauty

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Justin Young
Justin Young is the Paster of English and Youth Ministriesat the Chinese Community Church of Indianapolis where he has served since 1999. He and his wife Grace have two
young children and are expecting their third child in March.

35 millimeters. According to the Chinese Beauty Standard established by the International Cosmetics
and Fashion Week in 2005, 35 millimeters should be the distance between a beautiful woman’s eyes.
While no such explicit standards defining beauty may exist in the United States, there are plenty of
implicit standards which create an insurmountable wall between the average woman and “beauty”. Thus
it should not be surprising that, according to a recent study, only 4% of women around the world consider
themselves beautiful.

Further, it should not be surprising that such feelings of inadequacy start at a very young age. Indeed, Walt Mueller in his book Youth Culture 101 cites one study which found that feelings of body dissatisfaction among girls appears between the ages of 5 and 7. Another authors states that 42% of 1st to 3rd grade girls want to be thinner, and that 81% of 10-year-olds are afraid of getting fat. The situation is not helped when fashion magazine Vogue recently published a photo spread featuring a 10-year-old model in sophisticated outfits including a gold cocktail dress. Time magazine blogger Susanna Schrobsdorff worries that this photo shoot “will only push the tyranny of the pressure to look “hot” to ever younger ages.” Thus, by the time a girl is 17 and has seen more than 250,000 commercials aimed at her looks (Want to know what that feels like? Check out the Dove Onslaught commercial here: http://youtu.be/Ei– 6JvK0W60I), it is not surprising that so many young women struggle with self-image.

But, sadly, feelings of inadequacy may only increase when she enters college. Commenting on her time at college, one woman says, “It’s hard to feel beautiful when looking through fashion magazines. It is even harder at college. College is like walking through a fashion magazine 24/7. It’s difficult enough to stay on top of schoolwork nevertheless to stay on top of what you look like in comparison to the hundreds of other young beautiful women walking around campus. It is the only time in your life when you are surrounded by people your own age all trying to look their best. It makes you question your own identity and self-worth. It’s not easy.”

How should parents — particularly Chinese parents — of young women respond?

First, be careful what you and others say. It is not helpful when an auntie innocently says to your daughter, “Wa! You’ve really gained some weight, haven’t you?” While she no doubt meant it only as a benign — even complimentary — comment, it may very well sting your daughter and lead to unhealthy responses. Related, be cautious of saying the opposite to her as well: “You look good!

Have you lost some weight?” Again, while the intention of such a comment may simply have been to encourage your daughter, she may hear it as an affirmation that her significance and worth is tied to a slender body.

Second, realize and help your children realize that the images in media are not real, but rather highly manipulated and retouched. For example, consider this article (http:// bit.ly/AamybX) which discusses the prevalence of digital manipulation and links to videos which demonstrate the retouching done before an image is released.

Finally, consider reading and discussing a book like Mom, I Feel Fat: Becoming Your Daughter’s Ally in Developing a Healthy Body Image by Sharon A. Hersh in order to learn about and encourage one another in developing a healthy selfimage for your children.
References
1. http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/
english/doc/2005-10/14/content_
485021.htm
2. http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/
campaign-for-real-beauty.
3. Mueller, Walt. Youth Culture 101
(El Cajon, CA: Youth Specialties,
2007), 258.
4. http://www.thesource4ym.com/
youthculturewindow/article.
5. http://healthland.time.
com/2011/08/05/vogues-10-yearold-
model-and-the-pressure-tobe-
hot-from-cradle-to-grave/
6. http://www.kidsandmedia.org
7. http://www.cpyu.org