Reverse Culture Shock

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The words ‘Culture Shock’ can make it sound as if going someplace new is like jumping into a cold pool. Just jump straight in and the hard part will be over and you’ll be fine. Make local friends make an effort to learn the language and before you know it there won’t be any more shock and you’ll just be living your same life overseas. Unfortunately, culture shock is only one stage of assimilation. The most talked about, since most people only spend short amounts of time traveling in unfamiliar countries and therefore don’t find out what happens after the initial shock when you find yourself living far outside your comfort zone.
After the initial culture shock ends (when that happens can vary of course), you may find yourself in a stage known as culture fatigue. Gone is the initial shock. The things that used to surprise you have started to seem more mundane, which isn’t to say that you have come to accept every nuance of your new life. When I was in Beijing I eventually became accustomed to the oppressive crowding, pollution, rude stares, insane taxi rides, obtrusive questioning, and innumerable other daily irritations. But while they no longer surprised me, there was no doubt that they still had an effect on me. Unfortunately for me and for many others in my position, these sorts of effects can be cumulative. Forsome people with no outlet, these sorts of day to day irritations can become a burgeoning psychological problem.
It’s such a serious problem that when I went through a government accredited program in Beijing for teaching English as a Second Language, an entire day was spent going over the stages of cultural adjustment. The instructor was a veteran of ESL and he was clearly the perfect example of culture fatigue. He was very politically correct in the classroom, but when he went along after hours with some of the attendees and I, everyone got an alcohol induced litany of his personal views about everything wrong with Chinese culture. An interesting, if slightly biased follow-up to his earlier lesson, to be sure.
Regardless of which stage you are in, shock or fatigue, you may find yourself wishing you could somehow do something about the source of your cultural differences. There were countless times when I wished I could somehow change the way people in China wait in line. For weeks I tried standing up for myself in all kinds of ways, but after trying for ages, I hadn’t really changed anything. Instead Beijing had changed me. I had never been one to be impatient or rude and now I had to somehow become just as rude and inconsiderate as the people who had initially irked me. Beijing will always be Beijing and China itself has long been resistant to outside influence. In fact it’s more than likely that being in China or anywhere unfamiliar will have more of an effect on you than you can ever hope to have on your surroundings.
It was only after I came back that I realized how much I had changed. For one I wasn’t used to cleaning up after myself at McDonald’s anymore. The most shocking thing about coming home was realizing that the world I left behind had kept turning without me. I no longer recognized some parts of my old life. For one I had no idea who the new players were in the NBA and NFL. Even more, I was two years behind on all kinds of TV shows and popular slang. Apparently now a ‘minute’ is a blanket term for any amount of time?
But trivial problems like culture aren’t nearly as distressing as coming back to find that you’ve lost friends. China’s ban on Facebook and other social networking sites has helped it control the spread of information, but it has also made it nearly impossible to maintain friendships and relationships across borders. While there is little doubt that the ban has succeeded to some extent in maintaining order in the populace, the consequences are being felt by those who depend on the Internet to communicate with their loved ones.
Being home takes almost as much getting used to as it takes to leave. Of course I sort of expected to feel a bit strange being home after such a long time. After all, all my expat friends had already warned me that I would soon be bored with the pace of life back home and that before I knew it I would be dying to come back. To be perfectly honest, after the novelty of being home, where nothing was truly shocking and was as it should be, there were times that I sort if missed being someplace where every day seems like an adventure.
I suppose the lesson to be learned from all this shock, fatigue, and reverse culture shock is that some people want to do different things. Some people run toward new experiences while some shy away. Most fall somewhere in between. Those of us who are in between are likely to experience the full range of cultural adjustment. If the day ever comes when you find yourself living in China, or any other land you weren’t born to, know that you aren’t alone. There are others around you who are sharing similar experiences. Finding or building the right set of friends can mean all the difference. The world is full of cultural adventure. Whether we long for the familiar or the unfamiliar, the known or the unknown, we can always know that there is someplace in this world where we can find it.